Bitch Away, YK: Jan. 23

Artwork by Trevor Wood

Yesterday, we asked you to send us your greatest grumblings about the fine city of Yellowknife on Bitch Away, YK. With 16 completely anonymous submissions in less than 24 hours, saying you responded is an understatement.

We’ve heard concerns from some of you that EDGEYK.com is published by and for Yellowknife fans and this new feature might not be a good fit. While we love feedback, we’ll have to respectfully disagree. That’s because we firmly believe criticizing the place we love will make it even better.

To be clear, we vet every submission and we’ll publish nothing hate-filled. As well as being a source of entertainment, we want Bitch Away, YK to give people a safe place to share issues, observations and intelligent (if unpopular) opinions.

To achieve this vision, we’ll work to balance amusing complaints with smart, discussion-sparking observations. And with that, enjoy the first-ever session of Bitch Away, YK.

Speed limits

Yellowknife has the dumbest speed limits in certain areas of town, such as coming down the hill towards Old Town. You basically have to stand on the brakes to avoid speeding! Or past Jackfish going towards Ingraham Trail turnoff or visa versa!!

Street light

The street light is out across from Northern Lites motel beside the newspaper. Probably not the best place for a street light to be out. Come on City of YK!

Freedom of expression: not a government priority

Every level of government in this territory wants to control information and stifle opinions like they’re the Soviet Union. I feel like the next bureaucrat who tries to court-order some artist or member of the public into silence needs to be dragged over the coals and, at the very least, publicly shamed and fired for it. There needs to be serious and permanent consequences for those who attempt to hinder freedom of expression.

Parking meters

If a meter in YK is out of order, why does the City put a “Reserved” mask on the meter with a cute little lock? How about they mask it with free parking until they figure out how to fix it? Would be a nice gesture.

Everyone shits where they eat

The dating scene in Yellowknife sucks. There’s way less than seven degrees of separation between everyone’s genitals.

Theme thievery

I can’t believe those chumps at Moose FM. They totally ripped off your guys’ website theme! Oh well, at least your website is way better and has much more interesting content.

Robertson Headframe vs. cycle paths

The ultimate cost of the bike lane project was twice that of keeping the Robertson Headframe. Further, the Headframe could have been turned into a tourist attraction or museum to reduce the cost further. Because no one at the City had the guts to call off the project when it started going awry, we’ve got a useless bike path that helps you get to Con but doesn’t leave anything there to see.

Lack of bar options

When was the last time someone opened a bar in this town? And I don’t mean the old “rent a bar that’s been closed for a few months, paint the walls black and invest in new $20,000 speakers but nothing else” routine. I mean a new, big, professionally designed, clean but not too clean, bar. Not a pub — a bar. Or maybe a pub-ish bar. You can watch sports there, play pool, eat grub, and the ladies can give’r on the dance floor. Basically a big new Monkey Tree. Not that I have anything against the Monkey Tree. I love it. But we need another one.

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