Bitch Away, YK: Stop bashing tourists, start driving faster and what’s the deal with crosswalks?

Artwork by Trevor Woods

We’re back with another Friday installment of Bitch Away, YK, a feature with both fans and foes. We know you’re reading and you’re definitely writing, both of which are great things. As expected, we’ve received another mix of on-point observations along with a fair amount of just plain cranky commentary (and even, to our shock, praise!), some of which are below. Enjoy.

Be Nicer to the Blue Parkas

I hate how people that live in YK are always talking trash about the Asian tourists. We are lucky to have people willing to come visit our city and spend their hard-earned money at our local businesses. I think YK needs to stop being so ignorant and start appreciating what these folks do for our city. Look up YK, and smile when you see the blue jacket.

Slobbery dogs

City of YK… please start an awareness campaign and educate people who think off-leash dog walking is okay. It is not okay. I don’t want your sloppy, saliva-drooling dog licking my hand while you tell me “it’s okay, he’s friendly.” I don’t want your aggressive terrier jumping up my leg while you tell me “oh it’s okay, she won’t bite.” I like dogs, but some dog owners need a slap.

Slowpokes

Drives me nuts when motorized vehicles cannot drive the posted speed limit, thereby slowing every unfortunate person stuck behind them and the entire flow of traffic.

Why not have a bylaw prohibiting motorized vehicles from using our roadways when they can’t do the posted speed limit? Those vehicles belong on a trailer towed by a vehicle that can do the speed limit.

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Uncivilized idiots!

I know this city isn’t too civilized but come on, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know how to drive here! I’ve lived here for a year and I am astounded by the number of idiot drivers. How the hell did they even pass their driver’s test?! Please ask yourself if you are one of those drivers, and if so, do us all a favor and revoke your licence! LOL

Goat trails of treachery, sidewalks of deception

It’s winter, and from 57th street to the Fieldhouse, one may only walk on one side of the road, if they want to stay safe. The other side is a treacherous goat trail! Pedestrians who dare traverse this narrow foot path risk pitching into oncoming traffic – a definitive no-no for stroller or sledge.  The crosswalks, blinking like lighthouses, deceptively lure unwary travelers across Franklin to clamber up the steep cliffs, to discover narrow grooves that hint at the existence of a sidewalk. Why?

Phoning it in

I would like to see pay-by-phone parking like they have in Vancouver. It’s really annoying when parking downtown before 9 a.m. I estimate I’ve overspent hundreds just to make sure I would have meter time after nine and not have to interrupt my meetings to go plug the meter.

Pay by phone doesn’t require special meters – just an app on my phone. I can pay for time when it’s needed and if my meeting goes long I can just add a little more time right from my phone.

Entitled hicks

Yellowknife is a frustrating place to live. We like to pretend we’re some small-scale metropolitan city when the reality is we’re a backwater hick town full of entitled NIMBYs that are stuck in the ’50s and fight any sort of effort made to put us on a standard of living with the rest of the world. It took us over 10 years to get buses that I’m pretty sure are City of Edmonton hand-me-downs. And the new trash cans that everyone likes to bitch about and are oh so confusing are a reality for every “real city” in the rest of Canada.

Book it better

If you have ever received an invoice for booking a City facility, you know how ridiculous the invoices are. Some don’t even list the facility that was booked, others don’t add up, others are random carryovers and credits. Should be fixed.

Cool in the pool

Where else in the world is it warmer to swim outside than in an indoor pool? Seriously, what is the temperature of the water? When infants have blue lips and enjoy swimming in the hot tub more than the pool, maybe it’s time to crank the temperature? Maybe they need to bring the waves back. Move the pool project up and demo the old one.

Good job, snow crew

I know this is a bitching column, but the City of YK does a pretty good job at snow removal. Other large cites might get removal once per year.

No scrubs

I heard on MooseFM that belly dancing classes were coming to YK. They made a point of saying “only women allowed.” I object to that. Not because I want to belly dance, but because you shouldn’t need to be exclusive. I identify as a female, but may not look like it. If you’re going to tell me that I’m actually allowed because I’m “feminine” but my fat “male”-looking partner isn’t allowed because he looks like he fits the “creepy male” archetype, then just be honest on your ad, and say “no creeps allowed, we’re stuck up.”

Gender at the crosswalks

This is just an observation of crosswalk scenarios I’ve seen while walking home down Franklin Ave. downtown after work. Does anyone agree??- If a male pedestrian is at a crosswalk, a male driver will stop 8 times out of 10 for them

– If a female is at a crosswalk, a male driver will stop 9 times out of 10

– If a male pedestrian is at a crosswalk, a female driver will stop 5 times out of 10

– If a female pedestrian is at a crosswalk, a female driver NEVER stops for that  femaleWhat’s the deal?That’s all for now, folks. Keep on bitching!

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